Parental Invasion Part 2 of 2

When I left off talking about my parents visit (see: My Mom Fell Out of the Dinghy on Day 1) I may have mentioned something about quilting YouTube videos. 

I will continue to curse those damn vids until January 5 when our data plan turns over to a new month. Thanks mom ;P

Ok so when new people come onboard we do a bit of an orientation…Andrew and Heidi (and to a lesser extent, Bill because he didn’t really listen to it I don’t think) got about 2 hours of information chucked at them the night they arrived including everything from safety procedures to how to flush poop. It was a ton of information, thorough and necessary but a lot. They were (well Andrew and Heidi were) receptive to it because we were about to embark on 3 weeks of living together offshore and we were all “all business”. 

When my parents came on board 3 weeks ago…not so much. 

I had just finished work, it was the start of the holiday season and several other excuses later…we did a very very short version of the orientation which mostly consisted of “there fire extinguishers are here, here and here; the CO alarm is here and smoke detectors here; if you hear an alarm or see something strange say something about it (my dad is pretty paranoid about fire)…oh ya, and here is how you flush poop”. It took about 5 minutes and was much more consumable given that they just arrived from a long day of travel. 

HOWEVER…we forgot to return back to it the next day as planned and…you know, cover the rest. The rest included important things like: 

• dinghy procedures (somewhat covered in my last post) 

• data usage (OMG. Just OMG) 

• water consumption (yes we can make it but I’d rather not do it everyday mom so please don’t use 200L to wash dishes) 

• holding tank valves (closed in anchorages please)

• what not to shove down the sink (food scraps) 

• what not to lean on, hold on to, or otherwise support your body weight on (e.g. wheel, swim ladder, Bimini) 

Now don’t just us too harshly…over beers and in casual conversation we did cover: 

• Man overboard 

• Abandon ship 

• How to / how NOT to open the port lights and hatches 

• How to use the shower pump / how to know if you’ve taken too long a shower

One consequence of not doing this was that while my parent knew how to hotspot our sweet new iPad (replaced due to passage breakage) to access our sweet new 40G of data for $35 (data plans outside of North America are awesome), they did not know that they shouldn’t then use that data to…say….stream YouTube videos about quilting whilst lying in (my) bed at night. Needless to say our data ran dry about 1 week into this visit. We made this discovery shortly after arriving in St. Barths from Anguilla. After unsuccessfully trying to add more data to our plan (trying to navigate the instructions all in French proved too hard for our verb-conjugation-focused-French-education and we didn’t have the DATA to use Google Translate) when we arrived in St. Barths from Anguilla we gave it up and decided to wait out the loooooong 2 weeks before our plan turned over. Fortunately it was the holidays so I didn’t have work that required me to be online. Unfortunately it was the holidays and we had family and friends we might want to…you know…talk to :P We used our cellular data plans as best we could but when we moved from Gustavia to Anse Columbier there was such a scant signal and it was so slow (3G!) we could barely do a thing. Ok Ok Ok Ok OK OK OK…I realize being ‘unplugged’, especially over the holidays is not a bad thing. But to be fair Greg and I are really quite unplugged everyday. Honestly I can’t remember the last time I actually read the news (but I do know I am happier not doing it). We primarily use our data for work (me), research (both of us) and communications (both of us). So to not be able to communicate at will, over the holidays, was uncomfortable. The parents were appropriately contrite and January 4th is around the corner sooooo….we will survive. (This will be posted using Lagoonies Bar and Bistro WiFi after we buy some snacks). 

So data aside, how was the rest of the trip??? Awesome. St Barths was crazy. CRAZY. We only spent 3 nights in Gustavia because that place is like the Capri of the Caribbean. Sooo easy to blow your monthly budget in a day or two there so we did the Christmas shopping we needed to do and got the heck out of dodge for a more quiet, and lets spend-y location. Anse Columbier. Beautiful. Big rocky formations along the otherwise very soft sandy beach, crystal clear waters, turtles everywhere, challenging hikes with expansive views and goats, lizards and tortoises. We had a very peaceful Christmas full of swimming and sunning and sleeping. Also I beat my Dad a million times in Cribbage. I did, Dad. Yes I did. (Actually I can say anything I want here because I’m not sure he reads the blog…but I really did beat him). 

When it came time to leave St. Barths…basically because we needed to start heading back to where my parents were flying out…we decided to anchor in the Dutch side of the lagoon in Sint Maarten after spending a rolly night in Simpson Bay. Greg and I were both pretty nervous about going through the lift bridge (under? beside? Not sure of the right term here…actually going through it would be pretty bad.) We dinghied in first to check the spacing and depth of the spot we would head to and chose a few back up spots (yes we are very organized, anal and prepared) before going back out, raising the anchor and getting in line right behind a mega-yacht waiting for the bridge to lift. I called the bridge controller on the radio to confirm we were ok to hang out here and he was very supportive (hahaha). I should also mention that as you motor through / under / beside you pass the Sint Maarten Yacht Club restaurant where about 50 people stand at the edge of the dock and watch you manage your boat. Most wave. All judge. Hahaha no pressure! Once we were in and anchored and took a deep breath (new things always make me a little crazy…yes I know that in and of itself is crazy since I live on a boat and travel with my family now…so that means I’m basically always a little crazy) it was amazing to take note of the LACK of motion. My Fitbit registered my sleep score for the first time since I was in a hotel bed in Ottawa 3 weeks ago….that is, NOT MOVING WHILE SLEEPING. 

Oh did you notice how nonchalant I was about the mega-yacht? Well there is a reason for that and I will let Greg explain: 

——Greg blog post takeover!!——

We didn’t know this going in, but quickly found out the highest concentration of mega yachts in the WORLD can be found on St Barth’s during the Christmas season.  I’m talking the creme de la creme of the yachting scene, all in one place and all showing off the bling.  For anyone who enjoys marvelling at just how rich rich can be, this was most definitely the place to be.

We saw one massive yacht with an 80ft sailboat stored on the deck, right beside a 60ft power yacht on the deck, just above the garage in the side of the hull where the 40ft tenders are stored (at this point you can’t call them dinghy’s anymore)!  We saw another 550ft behemoth that in 2010 was the largest privately owned yacht in the work (it’s got a staff of 70, two helipads, and it’s own submarine)!  We couldn’t miss the constant stream of private planes and helicopters running back and forth between the airport in St Maarten, the airport on St Barth’s, and directly to the yacht helipads.  The port of Gustavia was lined with mega yachts side-by-side-by-side, right in the downtown ‘city’ core waterfront (which is beautiful by the way).  We counted 18 the first time we went in to clear customs.  Then the entire length of the coast between Gustavia and Anse Columbia was packed with anchored yachts either too big to get into the harbour, or simply waiting their turn for a spot to free up so they could move in.  We passed very close to a lot of these monsters both in Matriarch and in our dinghy and let me say they look huuuuuge beside our little vessels!

After only a couple days of being surrounded by these feats of engineering and opulence, we quickly began to feel like we were yachting’s version of hobos.  Need to fly in some guests who don’t want to bother with the dinghy?  No problem, just land them on the aft deck helipad.  Too many guests for one helicopter?  No problem, just use that second helipad mid-ships.  Feel like a game of soccer to work off a hard night of partying?  No problem, just use the soccer field on the foredeck or basketball court on the roof.  Want lunch on the beach?  No worries, the crew will dinghy over a full buffet and bar, set it all up, bring you and your guests to the beach to enjoy it for an hour, then take it all apart and dinghy it back to the yacht in time for sunset cocktails in upper deck pool. We watched staff zip around in dinghies and support boats catering to every whim and fancy of the rich and famous. Once we watched the staff of a yacht anchored directly behind us (rudely close actually) spend about an hour inflating every toy known to humans only to have 2 people come out and use one for about 5 minutes before dropping their things on the aft decks (or backyard as they seemed) and go eat some Grey Poupon. 

Those yachts weren’t infallible either. Christmas Even in Columbier our neighbours (I’m talking right beside us) woke up at 2am to the sound of a 250 foot mega yacht bashing into their bow after dragging onto them. Their 45 foot monohull took a beating that included a crack in their bow. I’m sure insurance will sort it all out and they got a bottle of Dom Perignon out of it but still…would rather not I’m sure. There was a time, not that long ago, that seeing a 50 ft monohull on Lake Ontario would have seems huge, then seeing a 70 foot trawler or powerboat on the Chesapeake would have been big…not anymore. Short of cruise ships, these are the biggest, most insane recreational vessels in the world. Nothing surprises us anymore. Totally jaded. 

——Blog post takeover over!!——

Greg and I had very different reactions to these mega yachts…he was in awe and fairly excited to see each one…I started to get a bit annoyed by the extreme excess and couldn’t help dwelling on how much money was in the anchorage in boat-form and the good those funds could do in the world…sorry, can’t help it. It’s my Public Health training and a life-time working in the non-profit world. So when in came time to head back to St. Martin to get my parents closer to their airport I was ready…not that there is a shortage of mega yachts on the Dutch side, but a bit fewer ;)

We had a lovely last few days with my parents in Sint Maarten (Dutch side) which included a really great night out at Lagoonies Bar and Bistro (awesome spot, run by women, French dishes with a new menu each day and really great outdoor space) and one last beach day. It was relaxing and perfect.

T-minus one day for data turnover…Mom and Dad are welcome back to the boat but we are changing our HotSpot password.

Much love,

M