The last couple weeks have been hard…

We are so exhausted.

We are so frazzled.

We are walking zombies who keep making dumb mistakes like pulling out a credit card before the transaction is done or walking upstairs and forgetting why we are there.

We look like sh*t.

A. Lot. Has. Happened. Since. Last. Post.

1. We finalized the lease of our home to a lovely family of 5 who I believe will care for our home as much as we have.

2. We found spots for all of our furniture, with friends, with parents, or in our storage room, and really got serious about packing up the house

3. We cancelled the various services for the house and million other moving-related logistics

4. We continued packing up the house

5. The kids finished their last day of school at Chris Hadfield Public School (possibly forever)

6. We continued packing up the house

7. I got my braces off and finished the treatment to decompress my TMJ and banish my headaches (hopefully forever)

8. We continued packing up the house

9. We disassembled and dispersed our furniture to family and friends to borrow or store

10. We continued packing up the house

11. I went to Wonderland with Kyle (brother), Matthew (nephew), Natalee (niece) and Liam

12. We continued packing up the house

13. I pushed hard to meet some work deadlines

14. We continued packing up the house

15. We said goodbye to so many people…and are still packing up the house

So yes it's been busy…but everyone is busy and we manage (mostly) right? Well on top of all this (and more) and the emotional upheaval that comes with any major change…our beautiful, loving, and all-around perfect family dog Rosie died one week ago.

Rosie found us 11 years ago when she was just 1 year old. The husband in the original family she lived with was abusive and the wife and kids had to activate their safety plan and leave with no notice. Rosie was on her way to the humane society in a colleague’s car when I happened to call her and she happened to mention what she was doing. On a whim (or instinct) I asked my colleague to bring her here instead. We knew within minutes of meeting her that she fit perfectly with our family (after she leapt into our back yard pond and emerged covered in algae with tail wagging and tongue lolling). Ever since that day she has been the most lovely companion and friend.

She loved the water but did not love being on a sailboat so while we were away, she was supposed to go live with Greg’s parents and their dog, Kaleigh, where she would have been spoiled with sardines and sweet potatoes in her dinner and many runs at the local high school football field. She had just turned 12 and, other than a heart murmur which we had been managing with medication for a couple years, was happy, energetic, and playful. She should have had at least few good years left but unfortunately for all of us, it wasn’t to be.

On Thursday as Greg was taking a load of furniture to Tillsonburg she seemed a bit low energy, not jumping up when there was someone at the door and walking slowly to get the kids from school. We thought she was depressed perhaps, sensing all the change. At dawn she woke us with accelerated breathing that sounded like respiratory distress. We choose to get her to the vet in Tillsonburg that she would have been seeing after moving in with Greg’s parents and who had previously cared for her that time she got worms while we were on vacation… ewww. Greg’s parents met us in Waterloo for a pick-up as we had an appointment back in Milton with Aden to redeem her birthday gift of a horseback trail ride before we ran out of time and felt guilty for life. At this point we thought Rosie might need a meds adjustment and then would be ok; however, I got a call an hour later with the news that we needed to come now and say goodbye.

We collected the other 2 kids from school and had a teary drive to the vet clinic in Tillsonburg. The last sounds Rosie heard were our voices gently telling her that she is such a good girl, such a sweet girl and that we love her so very much. The team at the Ostrander Veterinary Clinic, just north of Tillsonburg, were amazingly compassionate - sincere sympathy and heartfelt support. For 4 or 5 days after we’d been crying as we spoke about her, thought about her, or mistook the backpack on the floor for her from the corner of our eye. We are starting to adjust. We miss her so very much.

I think…I hope…she wanted to come with us. Is that crazy? All dog-people know that dogs live in a special world and understand so much more than we give them credit for, so maybe it’s possible…. maybe she somehow knew we were moving to new place where she couldn’t join us like she wanted.

Well, she will be joining us now. We will bring her ashes in a little box and Rosie will be our sixth crew member.

I woke up this morning feeling more optimistic than I have for a few weeks. We have weathered a couple very emotional weeks including a devastating loss but I feel like it didn’t break our resolve to move forward. Maybe I won’t feel the same tomorrow but for today I’ll take it.

Much love.

Each of us loved her so much. She was always close to one of us, head on the lap…paw on the knee…leaning against a side. Asking for and accepting as much love as she possibly could get. What a blessing.