When Mom's Away — Harris Crew

Aug 18

Aug 18 When Mom's Away

I’ve often had friends with zero, one, or even two kids ask me what it’s like with three. I usually start by saying the first leap into the kiddie pool is the biggest because absolutely everything changes overnight and you have no idea what you’re doing. When number two comes along it really isn’t so bad because you’ve now got some experience, the two siblings now have someone else to play with other than you the parent, and you’ve got a ton of gently used toys, clothes, books, etc. that now can be up-cycled to number two. But number three is a whole different story. Now you’re out numbered. Now you need a bigger car (or boat!). Now when you travel someone has to sleep on the hotel couch/floor/tub. And once they get a little older and figure all this out for themselves you’re in real trouble because they start ganging up on you. Don’t get me wrong, I love all our kids to death and wouldn’t trade our family dynamic for anything. But it’s… busy… and then Megan has to travel for a couple days for work…

Business Travel Sucks

I’ve done a lot of travelling for work so anyone who has to get on the road as part of their job has my sympathy. For me being away from home and being disconnected from the daily rhythms of the family, even all the crazy, actually especially all the crazy, was the absolute worst. For awhile I was back and forth from Toronto to LA a couple times each month, with trips up and down the east coast sprinkled in for good measure. I’ve done plenty of red-eye flights so I could get home in time to walk the kids to school on 2 hours sleep.

Even so, the adult left behind to manage the house single-handed doesn’t have it easy either. In our case, going from a game of 3-on-2 to 3-on-1 makes a huge difference in the amount of energy it takes just to keep everyone fed, to get a few chores or a bit of work done, and to keep the injuries to a minimum.

So when Megan needed to be away a couple days this week for work I knew it wasn’t going to be all champagne and caviar for her and I’d need to be on my game back on the homestead. On top of that, this was the first time we had to manage the business travel situation while living on the boat. Exciting times.

Megan lands on Toronto Island after a quiet flight and a complimentary Canadian beer. Ah memories of sailing in the harbour and enjoying that skyline…

Grace at the helm of our dinghy, Princess Nightbeard, on the way back from dinner. See that look in her eye? She’s got me right where she wants me.

Single Handed Parenting Day 1

The kids and I drove Megan to the airport to see her off. Unfortunately the best flight we could find was from Washington Dulles which meant a longer drive, so we ended up in the middle of rush hour on the return trip. Normally not a problem, except when Waze decides that in order to avoid traffic on the freeway the best route is through the middle of Washington, DC and you’ve got three squirrelly kids in the back seat either singing at the top of their lungs to whatever is on the radio or yelling at the top of their lungs they don’t like the song on the radio so Daddy please skip it (note to self, reactivate Spotify premium asap).

No worries, like the expert father I am I shut down the crazy and refocus them on Washington Monument as we drive by which was kind of cool. Shortly thereafter to weave our way through a much less touristy part of DC which prompted Grace to ask me “Daddy, why are all the houses broken?”. A good opportunity for discussion about income gap and socioeconomic status if I ever saw one.

We make it back to Matriarch in one piece and immediately head out for a quick dinghy adventure before dinner. The kids were amazed at how quickly Princess Nightbeard (that’s our dinghy) gets up on plane with only one adult on board! After a burger and a beer (for me) we shut it down for the night.

Grace is driving while Aden and Liam live their best lives.

Single Handed Parenting Day 2

Day 2 starts great with me rolling over to realize Grace climbed in beside me at some point during the night. She said she had a bad dream about a pig that looked like a cat with sharp teeth and no hair that ate garbage and ate some guy’s hand while he was throwing out his garbage. But I digress. While I’m making breakfast Grace starts texting Megan on my phone to see how she’s doing before her meeting. I’m definitely liking my morning view better than Megan’s…

The first order of business for the day is the girls weekly Brownie meeting with Auntie Erin (Megan’s sister). We do this every week via FaceTime so the girls and Erin can connect face-to-face and get as close as possible to a more traditional Brownie experience. I’ve got say Erin has done an amazing job of organizing all the activities and running their meetings and Aden and Grace are loving every second of it! Meeting concludes with some homework of walking down the dock at least once each day while being considerate of Mom’s personal space (see why here), trying to stay in your own bed even when you have a bad dream, and learning the Brownie meeting songs off by heart. Item #1, check.

The 1st Matriarch Brownies hard at work!

The second order of business is laundry. Grace is my helper for this one as Liam and Aden stay on the boat reading / getting into mischief. All good here except Grace is too short to reach the dryer (which is stacked on the washer) so she tosses the clothes up-and-in. In true Graceness she ends up getting a little too enthusiastic and throwing a bunch of clothes over the top of the dryer, basically just under the ceiling of the marina laundry room, which I’ve got to retrieve using a makeshift stool and a reachin’ stick, because I’m short too after all. Item #2, check.

No day is complete without a little rough housing. Today’s episode begins on the short walk over to Free State Yachts where we usually have our packages shipped (we’ve been ordering a decent amount of stuff from Defender or Amazon for various boat projects…). I stopped to use the bathroom on the way and left the kids to play on the grass outside. About 90 seconds later I return to find the three of them in a pile on the lawn doing their best professional wrestler imitations. About 5 seconds after that Grace and Aden are looking sheepish and guilty and Liam is looking bruised and battered after taking a kneecap to the eye socket. What can I say besides our girls are tough and Liam should know better than to mess with them!

Sisters can be tough. Liam’s second black eye this week!

Doing a grocery run was our last official job for the day, so after making sure Liam wasn’t permanently damaged from fighting with his sisters we were off. I find the secret to keeping the kids out of trouble in the grocery store is making sure they are constantly busy retrieving items on the list. “Liam please get the kale.” “Grace please get the bananas.” “Aden please get some tomatoes.” And on it goes at rapid-fire pace. Thankfully they all love to be helpful so it’s not hard to get them moving in the right direction and for the most part they are very self-sufficient and helpful when they’re focused. The hard part is keeping them focused because it doesn’t take long somebody to bring the wrong thing, or too few, or too many, or find something on the shelf they think need should be added to the list (usually some type of junk food…). So after 45 minutes of semi-organized chaos we are done and on our back to Matriarch to unload and store everything.

Mom’s Home and A Kind Gesture

With the jobs done for the day it was time to relax for a little while before heading back to Dulles to pick Megan up from her return flight arriving around 11pm. Yes it was a short out and back trip this time. The kids were on me the entire day for some pool time so I thought a quick swim would be a great way to cap off the day and hopefully tire them out so they’d sleep in the car. Lucky for us, while the kids were burning off some energy in pool I ran into our friends Jeff and Marguerite who generously offered to come and chill on Matriarch for a couple hours while I ran out to get Megan. So kind of them and saved the kids from a three hours in the car well past bed time.

No rush hour this time so driving was smooth and Megan was almost on time despite an extended conversation at customs to explain how she was living on a boat in the US. And just like that the Harris Crew is back and fully intact again. In the morning I roll over and get a few extra minutes sleep while the kids run in and jump on Megan to welcome her back…