Safety First! Or Did I Take This Too Far?

Jul 26

Jul 26 Safety First! Or Did I Take This Too Far?

This story, dear reader, begins yesterday at the pool. After a very long day spent running errands and slicing several items off our to-do list, we decided to reward the kids with a quick half-hour pre-dinner swim. Now it needs to be said that right now their all-time favourite past time is simply horsing around at the marina pool along with whatever other boat kids happen to be in the area at the time. And if there aren’t any other kids, well then Megan or I will work as a substitute. The kids love this so much that we start hearing requests for pool time at about the same time breakfast concludes and they continue all day long until either we give in or it’s bed time.

Yesterday’s session, however, came to a unpleasant conclusion when my little, independent Grace decided to ignore my explicit direction to get out of the pool and walk around to the showers versus swimming across the deep end and getting out on the other side. I could see her calculating the possible consequences of defiance and then making the decision to do what she wanted anyway and swim across the pool because that would be more fun.

For context, Grace isn’t yet a strong enough swimmer to complete an entire length under her own power, although she’s close, and also struggles to tread water for the 2 minutes that Megan and I have set as a goal for her. Now she was never in any danger and made it across the width of the pool just fine; however, I decided this defiance had crossed a line and met her on the other side to bring down the hammer - no pool for a week.

Grace being Grace she didn’t react very much in the moment, merely taking her sentence in stride and acknowledging she shouldn’t have done exactly the opposite of what I told her. I’m very sure she was thinking to herself that this storm will blow over by morning and I’ll be able to sweet talk Dad into forgetting all about this well before the next chance we have to go swimming. What she didn’t count on were the many very possible scenarios running through my head where she might absolutely need to heed an instruction given by one of Megan or I else she end up in very real danger. While I fully admit she’s got me wrapped around her finger most of the time, this was one situation where I wasn’t having it.

Fast forward to this evening when, after another day of boat jobs, we decided it was time for a quick swim to cool off before dinner. While Liam and Aden were joyfully scrambling to get their swim suits on as fast as possible in order to maximize time in the water, Grace finally realized the consequences of her actions yesterday weren’t so easily avoided. She was devastated. She cried. She curled up in the cockpit and sulked. She dredged up past wrongs inflicted upon her by her siblings. She tried every trick her 6 year old self could come up with to convince us she should be allowed to go swimming instead of sitting poolside watching the rest of us. All to no avail.

So as she sat at the side of the pool hugging her knees in a wretched little ball while her siblings frolicked, Megan and I explained to her that this punishment was supposed to be hard for her because we needed to make sure she understood how serious it was that she listen to us, especially when we’re in the water or on the boat. You know, all the good parenting stuff that hopefully makes the kid a better person and avoids a potential disaster somewhere down the road. I think, I hope, she got the message as she was certainly remorseful afterward, Part of me can’t help wondering if maybe I should have just chilled out a little more and let the kid be a kid. Although I also know that even though she’s only 6, she plays the game like a champ and is working an angle to get me to cave.

Ah the joys of fatherhood…

No pool tomorrow. We’ll see about Sunday.