Why do I do this to myself?!? I contemplate that question again and again as my anxiety levels ramp up to seriously unhealthy levels during every game day of the NBA playoffs as the Raptors go through the best season in franchise history (so far). The NBA finals start tomorrow and holy s*@^& the I think the Raps have a legit shot! Even so, I’m constantly bracing myself for the inevitable disappointment, the days of depression, the ‘what ifs’ and ‘if onlys’ that have historically followed the seemingly inevitable season-ending loss with yet another year’s potential left unfulfilled. So why do I do this? Why do I allow myself to get so emotionally invested in the outcome of a sporting event that every year ends in disappointment? Why am I compelled to wear my lucky Raps sweater to watch on TV in the misguided hope that somehow the universe will know and a lucky bounce will go our way? Why have I insisted on leaving our We The North flag hanging off our front porch for the last month? WHY OH WHY AM I THIS CRAZY?

Thankfully the descent into fan madness has had its benefits as well. Megan and I have shared more than a few nights with a new neighbour friend watching games, shooting the breeze, drinking beers, eating chips, and generally spending quality adult time much needed with so many loud and crazy kids in the house. We spent a small fortune to take the whole family to a mid-season game where the kids had the time of their lives and were awed by the spectacle (and I nearly broke my shoulder making a one-handed grab to get Aden a t-shirt fired from the Raptor-cannon…). Just the other day we made a new connection with our FedEx guy who got a kick out of the flag on the porch and wanted to trade finals series predictions. The kids’ bedtimes have become more of an afterthought on game nights, traded for hanging out and cheering on Raps until they are too tired to care any more. I’ve been texting daily with a former colleague and fellow Raps super-fan who I might have lost touch with if it weren’t for the shared connection over basketball. A lot of really great things that I’ll have to make sure I remember no matter how this season ultimately ends!

This year I also place some of blame on needing a distraction from our impending move onto the boat and all the upheaval that goes along with it. It’s been a whirlwind few months getting everything prepared and the intensity is only ramping up as the countdown is really on (only 4 and bit weeks to go…). Sitting down to yell and scream at the TV for a couple hours 2 or 3 times a week has been a good way to think about something else for awhile, even if it does introduce some other problems like the kids learning some choice new words after a sloppy turnover or bad call.